In comes Captain Ron Rico (Kurt Russell), a one-eyed salty dog mariner with loose morals and shaky boat captaining skills. Martin needs to pilot Wanderer to Miami so he can sell it to a used yacht dealer (played, oddly, by 60’s crooner Paul Anka with a Trump-esque orange tan). Then, BOOM! Martin inherits a dilapidated sailboat named Wanderer from a crazy dead uncle with a wandering soul, and within what seems like seconds the whole Harvey family is suddenly in the the Caribbean. That whole set-up lasts approximately three screen minutes, over opening credits. One good aspect of Captain Ron is that it doesn’t waste time getting to the real story. Why is he always the butt of other people’s thoughtlessness? If only there was a way for him to be the captain of his own destiny… Badly Photoshopped photo of Martin as a child at the ship’s helm
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The world is full of a-holes, or at least it seems that way to Martin.
Then Martin orders a cup of coffee, only to have some other a-hole with a cold sneeze into it. This is established early on, when he’s rushing to work in downtown Chicago and gets trapped in a revolving door when the a-hole right in front of him decides to strike up a conversation before exiting, blocking Martin inside. He has a pretty good middle-management job. He doesn’t have anything to complain about, really. The movie’s story starts like this: Martin Harvey (Martin Short) is frustrated with his life. Martin, trapped in his big city daily grind Somehow the idea of Captain Ron marinated in my brain for over two decades, until one fateful day, totally out of the blue, I was overtaken by a strange desire to watch it. So I didn’t end up going to see it (few did it was a huge flop).īut something about it spoke to me.
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It didn’t seem like a movie my parents would enjoy.
On the other hand, it just looked… weird. On one hand, it seemed like just another of those warm-hearted, family-oriented movies that the studios shit out or at least used to. I remember seeing ads for Captain Ron as an 11 year old. Afghanistan, Alaska/Hawaii, Algeria, Angola, Armenia, Australia, Azerbaijan Republic, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Belarus, Benin, Bhutan, Botswana, Burkina Faso, Burundi, Cameroon, Cape Verde Islands, Central African Republic, Chad, China, Comoros, Côte d'Ivoire (Ivory Coast), Democratic Republic of the Congo, Djibouti, Egypt, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Gabon Republic, Gambia, Georgia, Ghana, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Iraq, Jordan, Kazakhstan, Kenya, Kuwait, Kyrgyzstan, Lebanon, Lesotho, Liberia, Libya, Macedonia, Madagascar, Malawi, Maldives, Mali, Mauritania, Mauritius, Mayotte, Mongolia, Morocco, Mozambique, Namibia, Niger, Nigeria, Oman, Pakistan, Puerto Rico, Qatar, Republic of the Congo, Reunion, Russian Federation, Rwanda, Saint Helena, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Seychelles, Sierra Leone, Somalia, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Tajikistan, Tanzania, Togo, Tunisia, Turkmenistan, US Protectorates, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, Virgin Islands (U.S.I created this drink on the fly, just for the movie, using whatever beverages I had on hand at the moment.ġ part Trader Joe’s orange-peach-mango juice
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